Wrinkles

In an attempt to boost my social media presence and gain more readers for my writing, I found myself in a peculiar situation. A friend, a social media expert, suggested that I post more pictures of myself alongside my writings. While this idea seemed like a good way to connect with my audience, it also led to an unexpected realization: I was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with my appearance.

It was as if I had never truly seen my face befor! Yet now in the frozen snapshots captured on social media, it was hard to accept that is me now. The deep wrinkles around my mouth, the “smokers” lines and the heavy wrinkles that are amplified when I laughed or smiled, all became starkly visible. I was stunned, wondering if this was truly how I looked. It was as if my daily mirror glances had become a distant memory, replaced by a distorted reflection in the digital realm.

Acknowledging the reality of aging and the natural transitions that come with it, I tried to reassure myself. Ointments, fillers, and Botox were all options I considered. I diligently applied my retinol and wore sunscreen daily, recognizing the impact of my past neglect of these skincare routines, coupled with the years spent in the sun and the arid climate of my home for over four decades, reflecting back to me in my face.

Despite these efforts, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something more was needed. I wondered if I needed a little intervention to enhance my appearance. But then, I paused to consider the deeper meaning of this quest. This was who I was now, at the age of 60, why was I so focused on gaining external validation?

As I grappled with these questions, I realized that I could choose to disconnect from social media, return to my ignorance, and shove my head (literally) back in the sand. Alternatively, I could delve deeper into the options available, consult with my dermatologist, and explore the various treatments that might help me achieve a more satisfactory appearance.

I am trying to come to terms with who I am and to love myself and my appearance. I’m trying to embrace my life well-lived skin and find inspiration in other women. Those who smile with glee without a care for wrinkles on their screens are my source of strength. I truly do see them as beautiful - so why not me?

I’ll continue using retinol, sunscreen, and hats, and I may consult my dermatologist for additional suggestions. However, when I see those lines and crevices in my photos, I’ll do my best to embrace them and become one of those women who smile gleefully. Hoping to help another woman who is catching her first glimpse of her “current” self.

We are not defined by our wrinkles. Our appearances do not limit us. Express yourself through your clothing style, color your hair, or let it grow long and gray. Whatever it is for you, be true to yourself.

After this self acceptance pep talk I raise my finger and gently trace the indentations near my mouth. I can feel their depths. I can feel their widsom and their experiences. I softly carress them with love.